Of Breaking Walls and Punishments
by I-Love-Too-Much-Stuff-To-Say
Summary: 'You pushed him across a room' 'So why is there a large crack in that lovely wall' 'The punishment will be the same.' Our two favourite blond elves engage in a bit of sparring before the Battle of Helms Deep.


Of Breaking Walls and Punishments.

**AN: This, along with most of my ideas, was created through a longwinded discussion of various fandoms and ships with my sister QueenRexKenobi124, whilst doing the gardening. She came up with the idea of Legolas and Haldir sparring and accidently breaking the wall, which I have expanded upon.**

**Summary: 'You pushed him across a room?' 'So why is there a large crack in that lovely wall?'** **'The punishment will be the same.' Our two favourite blond elves engage in a bit of sparring before the Battle of Helms Deep. **

Théoden walked along the battlements, surveying the fortifications and thanked the Gods for the arrival of the Lothlorién elves. The Uruk-hai were less than two days march from Helm's Deep and the elves and King's Guard were busy training the men for the fight ahead. Théoden stumbled as the Keep trembled, the disturbance coming from inside. Worried, he raced past his people and into one of the training halls, coming to a stop in front of two sheepish looking elves, who were surrounded by an awestruck audience.

'What is going on?'

Wordlessly, they both pointed to sizeable crack in the stone wall. Legolas shrugged subdued.

'Let's just say the wall is not structurally sound anymore, after Haldir's back made contact with it.'

'Only because _Lord_ Legolas thought it would be a good idea to throw me from the other side of the room.' Countered Haldir.

'Explain.' Was Théoden's curt reply. Exchanging glances, Legolas began to do just that.

'Well...we were sparring and then this genius over here...'

'Hey!'

'...decided to speed up and kicked me in the face, breaking my nose in the process. Again.' Haldir sniggered, prompting Legolas to elbow him in the gut, none too gently according to the brief flash of pain on Haldir's face. 'Haldir then managed to corner me, so I tricked him and ended up pushing him a _teensy_ bit harder than usual.'

'Teensy bit?!' Amazement filled Théoden's voice. 'You pushed him across a room? And he broke the wall?'

'Pretty much.'

'How?'

'Err. Elves are pretty strong.'

'Oh, right.' Théoden's voice was oddly faint as he processed that information.

At that moment, Aragorn entered the room, parting the audience, his grey eyes stern and his bearing regal. Legolas and Haldir looked at each other, debating the odds of them escaping in time. Théoden couldn't help but smother a chuckle at the 'Oh shit. Now we're in trouble' faces they both sported. They turned back to Aragorn, ready to face the music. Kinda of. They gulped as he began to speak in a soft, yet stern tone.

'What have you done this time?'

'Well, you see…' Legolas stalled.

'It was all Legolas.' Haldir blurted out. 'He threw me against the wall!'

Legolas turned incredulous eyes on his friend. 'Seriously?! It was your fault for kicking me in the nose in the first place!'

'Was not!'

'Was too!'

They continued to bicker, ignoring everyone else in favour of trying to prove each other wrong. Aragorn sighed and walked up to them, giving them each a resounding slap round the back of their heads.

'Ouch!' Came the simultaneous cry.

Aragorn glared at them. 'Shut up. What have you been told about breaking walls?'

'Not to,' they chimed.

'So why is there a large crack in that lovely wall?'

'We're sorry!'

'Really? Well remember what happened last time?'

Legolas and Haldir winced in unison, the audience enjoying the torture of the two much more than the fight earlier, their heads moving back and forth as though watching a tennis match; not that anyone in Middle Earth knew the game.

The two elves fell to their knees, shaking their heads. 'Please, no, not that. Anything but that!'

Aragorn smirked from above them. 'Nope.' He replied, popping the "p". 'The punishment will be the same.'

Defeated they stood, turning to leave as Aragorn dismissed them. Théoden stopped Aragorn a he walked past him. 'What was that about? And what was the punishment last time?' Turning to watch the two elves leave, Aragorn spoke in a fond tone.

'They have a habit of forgetting their strength when sparring...and other times. Their punishment is hard for them, but it is only for a month. It is a lot shorter than it usually would be because apart from three days in Lorién, they haven't seen each other in five years.'

He smiled widely as Legolas slipped his hand into Haldir's and as Haldir brought it to his lips, kissing it gently. Aragorn turned to leave for the armoury, throwing the rest of his answer over his shoulder, amusement obvious in his tone. 'They are not allowed to have sex. They break to much.' He chuckled as he pictured Théoden's fish impression and full out laughed as he glanced back and witnessed that wonderful image for real.


End file.
